Rants

Dude. I just listened to a song of theirs for the first time. Holy shit do they ever suck. Evaluating the recording / production / mix, I can't help but imagine their parents / managers being super serious, yet trying to be "hip" at the same time, bobbing their heads to the music as if it were super groovy. I pictured a sleezy old fart in a business suit at the helm, scheming a world takeover... A record producer telling the lead singer to sing "baby" one more time at a specific measure... A big, black studio funk bassist tracking bass lines that the Jonas Puppets should be playing, but just aren't talented enough to pull it off... An idle leather whip nearby in case the children don't do exactly as they're told... Their framed "band pics" hanging on the wall from last week's photoshoot, which involved a professional hairstylist and industrial-strength wind tunnels / fog machines, but conveniently don't feature a keyboardist or drummer...or anybody with musical talent... A balding gay photographer instructing, "Don't smile, children - you have to look cool and tough. Put your chins up in the air. Yeah, that's HOT!"

These kids don't write or play any of the music. What a fucking gimmick. I laughed.